Girdles and Gratitude

Posted on Tuesday, November 3, 2009 in Gender Equality | No Comments

Gratitude. It’s what I feel whenever I contemplate the good fortune of being born in a time and place that allows me more freedom and opportunity than women have known before in the history of humanity, and in much of the world still today.

This photo journal and Letter to Young American Women  by Gail Collins provides a vivid reminder of how far women have come in a relatively short period of time. I had forgotten that such a thing as a girdle ever existed. The world in which my mother came of age was an entirely different place for women than the world I know. My daughters are experiencing yet a different world even from mine.

I’ve met a few condescending salesmen who didn’t respect my ability to make a major purchase without the consent of a man, but I’ve just taken my money elsewhere. I have gotten pregnant when I didn’t intend to, but I’ve never experienced the powerlessness of birthing baby after baby, without resources to feed and care for them and no means of preventing yet another pregnancy. I’ve experienced sexual harassment in the workplace, but I was empowered to put a quick stop to it without fear of recrimination. No one has ever told me that I can’t vote, or hold public office, or own a business, or play sports, or wear pants.  I’ve been extended credit. I have received an education. I’ve participated as an equal contributor with men in business. I’ve been ordained. I’ve never even owned a girdle.

If I had been born just a few decades sooner, or in some other spot on the globe, my story would be completely different. I am grateful even as I ache for those who do not know this kind of freedom.

This is not to say that all is right and perfect around me. I still see women who regard their sexuality as their best asset and greatest source of power. I still see domestic violence. I still see women submitting to objectification and sex-role prescription. I still see women settling for less than equal partnerships in their relationships with men. I won’t even get started on the media’s role in perpetuating this. Blatant sexism is no longer socially acceptable, but inequity has mutated itself for survival in this evolving cultural climate.

There is at least one place where the old-fashioned kind of sexism still thrives - the Church. It’s true that we have seen progress even here. But the Church lags shamefully behind the secular world in its acceptance of women as equals with men. Too often we still interpret ‘submission’ as a one-sided divine decree intended to keep women in subordination to men. Too often we believe that the patriarchal cultures from which our scriptures emerged should determine roles for women and men in every culture. We subvert the scriptures proclaiming freedom in favor of the scriptures that seem to endorse female subjection. We cling to our male-dominated hierarchies.

Though I am an ordained minister who has experienced a great deal of support and encouragement from men, I still experience diminishing attitudes and language that go hand in glove with sexist prescription even when unintended. In my world, pastors are still referred to with masculine pronouns. “Pastors and their wives” is a term I loathe because it regards women like me as anomalies, and men like my husband as invisible.  We still have a long way to go.

Today I look back with joy and gratitude at how far women have come. I also look around at what discrimination remains, and I look forward hopeful optimism to a time when today’s inequities will seem as archaic as grandmother’s girdle.

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