The Tyranny of Responsibility Moles

Posted on Friday, May 22, 2009 in Holistic Living | No Comments

Does your life ever feel like a perpetual game of Whack-a-Mole?  Responsibilities popping up faster than you can beat them down? This is my life. Work today. WHACK! Load of laundry. WHACK! Shower and dress myself. WHACK! Reply to someone’s email (from last week). WHACK! Pay a bill – late. WHACK! Feed the baby. WHACK! Feed myself. WHACK! Call the vendor who double-charged our credit card and try to get it reversed. WHACK! Send that really important proposal letter. WHACK! Plan for youth group. WHACK! Put the baby down for a nap. WHACK! Put the baby down for a nap again, since she has just been crying for 10 minutes. WHACK! Dishes. WHACK! Chore. WHACK! Another chore. WHACK!

 

All the while there is a running commentary in the back of my head, reminding me which moles are getting missed and which moles are about to pop up again. The mole of the moment: remembering my resolution to blog at least once a month, and how I’ve broken it. Bummer.

 

The problem with living life like a game of Whack-a-mole is that it’s exhausting. It’s a perpetual fight for some form of organization, some hope of being ‘on top of it’ again. I’ve been around the block with time-management programs.  I know what ‘sharpen the saw’ means and I know what my ‘big rocks’ are.  I’ve made ‘bucket lists’ and I really am attached to my planner as an act of sanity maintenance.  It’s not that those things are valueless. It’s just that they start to feel like another mole after awhile. Make a list. WHACK! Prioritize it. WHACK! Transfer everything leftover from yesterday’s list to today’s list, which is ridiculously long. WHACK!

 

Sometimes my list is just a depressing reminder of how badly I don’t have my act together. It reminds me of the people I’m disappointing.  It doesn’t make me feel organized. It makes me feel like a failure.

 

I learned awhile back that this is – at least in part – a problem related to my personality type. But I can’t use that as an excuse. “I’m so sorry I’ve ignored your email for two straight weeks.  It’s just because I’m an NFP.” 

 

Josh and I are trying to re-integrate a Sabbath into our lives.  That’s that one 24-hour period during the week in which we are not allowed to do anything that isn’t restorative.  If it feels like an obligation, it has to wait.  Sadly, the past two weeks we’ve seen that time eroded by urgent, important and time-sensitive things.  Perhaps this week we will guard our time of rest more diligently. In doing so, I may find myself feeling more ahead of my moles next week.

 

In the meantime, I’ve got some things I need to do. WHACK!

 

 

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